I said that I would reflect upon my progress regarding my resolutions for 2012, right?
How did I go?
- I’m pleased to report that I stuck to the exercise one most of the time; however I slacked with the weights aspect! It ended up being (and is now) 2x/week of weights sessions, with some gaps here and there!
- My goal of avoiding processed foods wasn’t achieved; I still eat them approximately once a day when at work (e.g. fruit bar which is technically processed, as are my muesli bars ), and more on weekends if I am at a party or something. I don’t think I’m eating as much of them as I used to, but am still eating them regularly.
- I didn’t try out singing lessons! Does karaoke count?! I would like to do some lessons this year.
- I have worked on maintaining my friendships and developing new ones, and have kept up blogging regularly.
I’ve shared my progress with you because 1) it makes me publicly accountable for my progress or lack thereof (!) and 2) to also show that I am a regular human being and so I slip up just as much as the next person!
Nobody’s perfect, but I believe there is nothing wrong with working on becoming the best you can be!
Ever had one of those light bulb moments where stuff you have learnt and possibly even applied in various situations a while ago comes back to you – and you go “ahhhh, I can actually apply this to myself!”?
I had one of those at the gym this morning.
I was strolling along on the treddy (my nickname for the treadmill lol!) when I realised that I am likely to feel much more fulfilled and be enjoying life a lot more if I took a good look at my VALUES, rather than make “resolutions”, to guide me through 2013.
What is the difference between VALUES and resolutions?
From my personal perspective, values are beliefs, preferences and attitudes towards yourself, others and the world that tend to be general and over-arching. They are what you find important and determine your priorities. “Being kind to others” and “compassion” are examples of values. I believe they do relate to personality to an extent.
Values SHAPE our goals, and resolutions are a type of goal when you think about it. Resolutions, or goals, are usually about things that we want to start, stop, or continue doing. If we take the example of the value “being kind to others”, a resolution that someone who holds such a value could be “in 2013 I want to engage in more random acts of kindness”.
Even more importantly, values have more of a DIRECT influence on behaviour.
What do I mean by this?
Let’s say you value your body. “My body is my temple!”
If that is the case, you are more likely to make decisions and behave in ways that show respect for your body when presented with choices and situations in which you have the option of either behaving in line with that value, or not. You are more likely to choose the salad wrap over the cheeseburger when at the food court, regardless of what your friends, partner or colleagues are doing. You are also more likely to go to the gym or walk the dog at times you don’t really feel like it, because of the value you hold. This is because we tend to have more emotional attachment to values rather than goals, as they are closer to our concept of self and identity.
If your GOALS are INCONSISTENT with your VALUES, you are unlikely to succeed in achieving your goals. The risk of self sabotage is high as we naturally gravitate to thinking and behaving in ways consistent with our values, as they exist at a more core level and are more tightly held (usually).
If your GOALS are CONSISTENT with your VALUES, you are set for success, providing that the goals are specific, achievable in the timeframe you have set, and realistic.
If you find that you keep setting the same resolutions year after year but do not achieve them, it may be worth taking some time to stop and think about what you value, and consider if there is anything interfering with you being and behaving in line with your values. Common blocks can relate to difficulties with self esteem, environmental factors (e.g. valuing your body but living with a partner who doesn’t respect theirs and insists on stocking the house with junk food, making your environment very challenging), or simply not wanting to make particular changes at a base level. (For example, I once met a person who said they were determined to stop cheating on their partner, and wanted to seek out help in order to achieve this goal, but in further discussion it was apparent that the person enjoyed having affairs and actually valued the ego boost the affairs gave over any desire to maintain a healthy and loving relationship with their spouse. Until or unless that person was willing to reassess their values no amount of goal setting or attempts at behaviour changes would be likely to last or work!)
It’s important to be honest with yourself! From there you can make any change that you want, if you are willing to make the commitment.
Why am I waffling on about all this?
I have decided to NOT set any resolutions for 2013. Instead, I am going to focus on three particular values of mine which I have allowed to get a bit squashed due to, I’ll admit, a level of disrespect towards myself. (Some of this I think was due to laziness, part due to over-preoccupation with family issues, and the rest due to my perennial fear of success!)
What are they? The 3Fs!
Feed my mind
- Prioritise learning, developing, and sharpening new skills.
- Engage in hobbies that stimulate my brain and creativity.
Feed my body
- Make healthy eating, drinking (I don’t drink much alcohol but a lot of caffeine – see my earlier post today?! ), and lifestyle (e.g. sleep) choices.
Feed my spirit
- Nurture new and old connections with people who have a positive influence on me.
- Take more steps towards developing the spiritual aspect of my being (this was significantly neglected in 2012!).
- Take active steps to be “me” and be truly present in all my endeavours.
In a recent post of mine I mentioned that I have scheduled in my blog calendar monthly posts relating to wellbeing. This will happen, and each of these posts will focus on at least one of the “3Fs” – e.g. Mind, Body, and/or Spirit. I’ll be using the “3Fs” as a tag and category for easy reference.
A penny for your thoughts?
Well done if you have read this right through to the end! I appreciate your time and am curious to hear what other people think about my light bulb moment!
I hope this post makes sense… If you have any questions or want me to clarify something, please ask!